So, I get a lot of questions since coming out. Some are pretty funny.For example...
"Have you had the snip yet?"-Ella Grant
No. ...(pause)... Wanna see? ; P
Are you going to?
No. ...(pause)... Wanna see? ; P
Do you sleep with guys?
Yes. ...(pause)... Wanna see? ; P
Do you sleep with girls?
Yes. ...(pause)... Wanna see? ; P
You got baptized at church after coming out?
Yes. My fingernails and toenails where the most wonderful pink during the ceremony. ...(pause)... Wanna see? : )
(inconceivably inappropriate perversions said to me or slipped to me in notes like I am some kind of hedonistic deviant)
Online I block them. In real life this is harassment. It might lead to assault, so I get away from these people, surround myself with friends or a lot of strangers for safety. Uber drivers have dropped me off at night in scary places, and kicked me out of their cars.
Is life harder for you now?
Yes and no. I like that I am positive and authentic, the healthiest I ever have been, but you are right, people do judge me. I don't mind because I like that coming out made every secret issue public. My church changed, my job, my friends, some family members, online, my wife divorced me. None of these are losses really. These are all improvements, my chosen family becoming compatible with me.
You are so brave.
I don't feel that way. To me it's more that I am not faking, just relaxing into my authentic self, you know? I get scared a lot, actually, probably more than I did before.
(some form of "you are crazy" or "aren't you ruining yourself" or "wasn't unresolved trauma the real cause")
Most transgender persons I speak with, what I have learned, and my own experience show that these kinds of suspicions and ideas are the opposite of the truth. To us transgenders we experienced ourselves the way we express ourselves. We have always felt ourselves this way.
Joy!! : )